I can....!

"Those who think they can do ___ do,

 Those who think they can not ___ do not".

This is true for all of us, but it is specially true for young children. The responses of parents and other adults have a powerful effect on children's actions. Adults reactions actually teach children how competent or incompetent they are. Have you ever noticed how proud your children are of their accomplishments? They often argue with you to "Watch this!" or "Look at what I made". Young children need to be seen as capable and strong, but they lack the skills and knowledge that grown-ups have.The list of things they can do is much shorter than the list of things they cannot do. They really need your help in learning that they can do things.

To help your children develop confidence in themselves, focus on their strengths and successes, show them you have faith in their abilities, reflect their achievements in a positive but realistic manner, build the child's sense of basic trust, learn why child acts the way he does, express your unpleasant feelings verbally, accept child's unpleasant emotions,teach the child how to deal with angry and unhappy feelings, provide ways for child to feel success, respond to child's actions immediately, teach and demonstrate respect for your own and others, give the child plenty of praise; warmth and physical signs of affection, take photographs of the child and display the child's art work.

A child feels good when adults are supportive, give choices and use democratic methods. So avoid being too strict or too pessimist. Also, a child feels contended when his/her needs for love, security and belonging are met, and feels upsets when he/she gets too little attention and feels neglected and unwanted.

Self-confidence is like a ripple. When children feel capable in one area, the feeling is likely to spread to other areas of their lives. Encouragement builds and restores a child's self-confidence.Encouragement is more than praise. In fact, praise often causes discouragement because the children consider it either as being undeserved or as your wish for them to succeed beyond their capacity. Encouragement expresses faith in children as they are, not in what they could be.

As an adult, use your power wisely while demonstrating respect and appreciation for your child's growing need for self-determination and a strong self-concept.